Reflecting...

Day 1:
 New frame of mind, new outlook on this giant elephant sitting on my back.  This fat HAS to go!  No more up and down on the roller coast of losing weight.  I have to do this, I'm too young (40) to feel this damn old!  From my legs and my feet killing me to my knees that make me want to just cry.

I find myself reflecting on why and how I let this happen, let it get to this point...let myself just go...
Honestly, without the aches I still feel like I did in my mid 20's and I can't complain about that until I get up then my reality smack hits me dead on....OUCH!

My kids sneak pictures of me on their iPods but I go back in and delete them...total denial once again and yep, another smack from that bitch reality! Lol

Why the sudden change?  Telling my 4th grader the only reason why I don't want or refuse to go to the class baseball game with him...I tried the horrible excuse of,  "I have to work" to..."I know you won't listen to me if I do go".    Well, he wasn't buying any of it, so I had to dig deep, deeper than I usually like to go....and there it was...I didn't want to be an embarrassment for him.  I wanted him to go and have a good time and not worry about Moms butt not fitting in the seat and hearing the snickering....something I never thought would happened has...disappointing my son.
How can I teach my kids not to worry about what people say about you, that it doesn't matter...but, this was exactly what was happening.  I don't know if I could go to the game, squeeze into that seat pushing lots of me from the back to the front...how pretty is that?

Well, enough of that....

So, on to day two....surprised at myself that today food wise went very well...no chance to walk tonight, had to go to town and get my lunches for the week.

Tonight however is a different story!  I ate all my carbs and didn't go over but it's 11pm and I'm starving...oh we'll lol. Finish my gene tea and hit the sack and start all over 😃